If Love was Fair Read online

  Ben’s hand linked with mine as he started down the hall that read "Employee’s Only" on a sign directly above the entrance.

  “We’re gonna get in trouble…” I slurred.

  “Not when you know the owner.” Ben opened a door at the end of the hall and started up some stairs.

  I teetered on the second step and his large hands quickly grabbed me. “Whoa there, Maci.”

  Maci?

  “Who the hell is Maci?” I slapped his chest as the room started to spin.

  His eyebrows furrowed. “I thought it was you…”

  I’d completely forgotten that I’d given him a false name.

  High five, Arbor.

  I laughed. “I just recently started going by my middle name.”

  Liar.

  He dropped his head to the curve of my neck and placed his warm lips against my skin. “I don’t care what your name is as long as you’re enjoying yourself.”

  My eyes closed and a brief second later my body was lifted and being hauled up the remainder of the staircase. The boom of the door slamming against the frame echoed through the dark room just before the light flickered on and a bachelor pad laid out before me. Chocolate walls with a small seating area on one side of the open room and a bedroom on the other. My eyes wouldn’t fully focus as Ben carried me toward the bed and dropped me to the mattress.

  It was happening.

  I was about to cross the line that hadn’t been crossed in years.

  He gently unzipped the lone zipper down the side of my skirt and slipped it from my body, leaving only a small pair of teal panties covering my lower half. I fisted my hair at the scalp as his lips made a path up my bare legs, stopping at the apex of my thighs as his thick finger trailed down the center of my panties, causing my hips to buck upward. My heart slammed in my chest, but not the kind of slamming that made me feel giddy, the kind that made me feel…afraid.

  “I can’t do this.” I slipped off the bed and teetered as I quickly tried to gather my discarded clothes.

  “Where you going?” He jumped from the bed, jeans hanging wide open and his erection tenting through the opening of his boxers.

  If it had been another time and I hadn’t been scarred from life, I’d have jumped on his thick member that was standing to attention, but I just couldn’t do it.

  “I’m sorry…” I choked out as tears pricked my eyes.

  Don’t you fucking cry, dammit!

  The alcohol and emotions were too much for me to fight off and I succumbed to the wailing sobs the ripped through my body.

  “What the fuck?” Ben shouted. “Why the fuck are you crying?”

  “Leave her the hell alone!”

  “This doesn’t concern you,” he spat.

  “She’s my best friend. Everything about her concerns me, asshole!”

  “Well then get your crazy bitch of a friend out of here!”

  “If you call her another name I’m going to cut your dick off, you asshole,” Emily warned.

  I blinked repeatedly to try and focus my eyes but everything was blurred from tears. “Emmy…” I hiccupped.

  “It’s okay, I’m here.” She rubbed my hair out of my face. “Now let’s get you back in your clothes so we can get the hell out of here, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “I should’ve known better,” she said through gritted teeth.

  “Not your fault.” I forced myself to get off the floor as she quickly dressed my lower half.

  “What kind of fucked up bitch breaks down crying when she’s about to get her rocks off?” Ben spat.

  I’d almost forgotten where we were until his voice filled the room.

  “Give me a sec.” Emily propped me against a chair.

  A loud pop echoed through the room.

  “The fuck?”

  “That’s for being a real son of a bitch.”

  “Get the fuck out!” Ben’s voice boomed.

  I flinched as tears raced down my cheeks, my bottom lip quivered.

  “Do you think we’d stay, fucker?” Emily yelled back as she hooked her arm around my middle and I tossed an arm over her shoulders.

  We descended the stairs as fast as possible while I tried my best to choke back the sobs that were causing my entire body to shake.

  “We’re almost to the door, Arbor. Our ride should be waiting.” She rubbed my arm as we stumbled toward the entrance.

  “I’m so—sorry,” I hiccupped as the doors came into view.

  “No need for apologies. I knew deep down you were making the wrong decision but I didn’t want to get in your way. I’m sorry for being a shitty friend.”

  “How are you sober?”

  “Believe me, I’m not.” A humorless laugh broke up her statement. “Just a bit less drunk than you are.”

  I nodded.

  We pushed through the doors and sure enough, a yellow cab sat at the curb. Emily helped me inside and slipped in beside me. She rambled off our address as I curled up against the closed door.

  “By the way, your head’s going to fall off if you keep nodding like you have all night.”

  A deep belly laugh erupted from me, this time pulling tears of laughter from my eyes instead of distraught and sad ones.

  The taxi ride seemed like an eternity as I bounced in and out of consciousness. My body was exhausted, but my mind was still reeling with drunken thoughts of how the night had unfolded and the demons from my past.

  “We’re here.” Emily’s soft voice brought me out of the newest slumber I had fallen into.

  I groggily managed to open my eyes and slapped my hand against the door a couple times before I actually found the door handle. By the time I had the door open enough to attempt to get out, Emily had already paid the cabbie and rounded the vehicle to help me.

  “Just a couple dozen steps and you’ll be in your bed.”

  “Ugh…” I groaned as the world around me chaotically spun on its axis.

  My guts rumbled and the taste of bile flooded my mouth, causing me to gag.

  “Oh, shit.” Emily groaned as I gagged a couple more times, choking back the vomit that was trying to rise up my throat.

  Emily kicked the door open then closed. The clank of the deadbolt locking quickly followed before she rushed me down the hallway and we took a sharp turn into the bathroom. My knees bounced off the tile floor just before I spilled the contents of my stomach into the commode.

  “Get it out, Arbor.” Emily sat on the edge of the tub, holding my hair with one hand while rubbing soothing circles on my back with the other.

  “I’m never drinking again—” I mumbled into the giant hole where your ass usually goes.

  “Yeah, yeah.” She giggled. “And I’m never having sex again.”

  If I could have laughed, I would’ve.

  “I mean it.” I sat back against the sink cabinet. “I think I’m dying.” I groaned as I wiped my mouth with the hem of my shirt.

  “How ‘bout we rinse your mouth out and get you to bed. Sound good?” Emily crouched before me and slipped her arms under mine.

  “Bed sounds good.” I sighed as she helped me to my feet and handed me a tiny paper cup of mouthwash.

  I sloshed it around in my mouth a few times and spat it in the sink. Emily rinsed the sink out while I attempted to stumble my ass out of the bathroom and down the hall. I didn’t take into account that the lights hadn’t been turned on anywhere in the house when she’d brought me in, and walking in the dark was even harder while under the influence.

  My hand slapped the wall, searching for a switch but instead found a row of picture frames, sending them crashing to the floor.

  “Shit!” I tried to bend over to collect the mess but ended up crashing myself to the floor in the pile of it.

  “Dammit, Arbor.” Emily huffed. “Remind me to never let you drink again.”

  The lights came to life. I lifted my shaky hands from the pile of glass shards and cringed when I saw all the crimson running down my skin.
/>   “Crap, you’re bleeding.” Emily darted into the bathroom and I heard a cabinet slam shut as she passed the threshold back into the hallway with a first aid kit in tow.

  “I’m sorry.” I held my hands in my lap as tears flooded my eyes and sat there silently crying as she bandaged me up.

  “It’s nothing we need to take you to the hospital for, but you’ll probably be a bit sore.”

  “Okay.”

  Emily lifted her eyes to mine and frowned. “Shit happens. Don’t cry because of how tonight unfolded, because tomorrow will be better.”

  My shoulders shook as the flow of tears raced down my face. “I highly doubt that.”

  “Come on.” Emily helped me to my feet for the millionth time and walked me to my bedroom.

  “Thanks.” I plopped down on my bed and kicked my shoes off one at a time with the toe of the opposite foot.

  “You don’t have to thank me.” A closed-mouth smile sat on her lips. “I’m usually the one shitfaced and acting a fool.”

  She was trying to bring laughter to the situation but I cringed at the thought of how things unfolded with that stranger at the bar, and how I’d made a complete ass out of myself. I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor, wincing with each movement of my hands.

  “Do you want me to help you?” Emily started toward where I was sitting but I shook my head.

  “I can manage.”

  Once I was out of everything but my bra and panties, I crawled up my bed and slipped beneath the comforter. My head was rocking and the room had died down from spinning as drastically as it had been, but I knew a hellacious hangover was in my future. I turned on my side and reached for the locket that always hung around my neck like I did every night to fall asleep. The smooth metal of the backside was such a contrast to the etched design on the front side. My fingers slipped back and forth against it and my mind wandered to the place I rarely let it go. It only took a brief moment for the heartache to pierce me like an arrow and uncontrollable sobs to shake my body with grief.

  Would I ever learn to move forward, or would my heart forever feel this way?

  Losing someone is a heartache that flairs up whenever it wants. You can’t stop it, you can’t pretend it isn’t there; you have to allow it to run its course or drown out the pain with medication. I’d tried doing all three.

  The bed dipped and Emily’s body slipped behind mine. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me against her. She knew what I was dealing with, and was showing me that she cared. How I’d managed to find a lifelong friend the moment I’d pulled into Indianapolis was beyond me. But I sure as hell was thankful to have her as my lifeline.

  Seven

  “Can you hold my calls for the next couple of hours?”

  “Sure thing, Ms. Kenton.”

  I winced from the over-enthusiastic tone of Stacey’s voice. It had never bothered me before, but I’d also never gone into work with a massive hangover either.

  “Arbor, you can call me Arbor, Stacey.”

  She’d been here long enough; there was no need to be so formal.

  “Okay, Arbor.” She giggled. “It’s weird being so informal.”

  I groaned and held the phone away from my ear.

  “You don’t feel very well, do you?”

  “I could honestly go for some chicken noodle soup and a Sprite.”

  “The diner a couple blocks over has the best soup!”

  “I’ll keep that in mind when I can move from this office. Thanks for holding my calls, Stacey. I’ll let you know when I’ll take them again.”

  “No problem.” Clicking from her fingers flying across her keyboard came through the line. “Do you want me to cancel your one o’clock?”

  “Shit…” I whispered and tapped the receiver of the phone against my forehead. I brought the phone back to my ear, “What’s it for?”

  “New client. He’s wanting help advertising his music.”

  Great…a musician.

  “I have, what…” I fumbled with my phone to check the time. “About three hours before the meeting.” My entire body ached from the shit I’d put myself through going out with Emily, but I couldn’t cancel a meeting with a new client only three hours before. “Keep it on the books; just hold all calls until after that meeting.”

  “Sure thing, Arbor.”

  “Thank you, Stacey.”

  “No thanks needed, it’s my job.”

  The line disconnected and I sat the phone back on the base beside my computer. I lowered the automatic shades for the first time. The cityscape that I adored was wreaking havoc on the headache that was pulsating in my brain. I crossed my arms and rested my head on them. I felt like death and Emily hadn’t even showed her happy ass up to work yet.

  I powered up my computer and opened the photos Stacey had sent me from the fashion shoot I’d been waiting to work on. I wasn’t sure I could handle getting the article completed with such a headache, but I had no choice. The only part I had left was the placement of the photos I selected and the editing of said photos. I clicked through each image faster than I usually would. Selecting five of my favorites, I dropped them into my editing tools program. Being proficient in Photoshop was one of the top reasons I’d landed the job at Level PR, that and Emily pulled some strings.

  “I brought you some soup and a Sprite.”

  I jumped and almost toppled out of my chair.

  “You scared the shit out of me.” I placed a hand over my chest and felt the erratic pounding of my heart all the way to my scalp.

  “I knocked four times, thought you might’ve been sleeping so I was going to leave it on your desk.”

  “I must’ve been deep in concentration.” I shook my head and noticed my headache wasn’t as intense as it had been. “You shouldn’t have.” I took the plastic spoon from its plastic wrapper and opened the soup's container. “Mmm…it smells delicious!”

  “I told you they have the best soup.” Stacey smiled proudly as she backed away toward the door with a brown paper bag in her grasp.

  “Did you get yourself something?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to head back to my desk to eat.”

  I waved her forward. “You can eat with me.”

  “What about the phone?” She looked a little leery.

  “It’ll be fine. I have voicemail.” I waved her over again. “Have a seat and tell me about this mysterious soup god of a diner.”

  Stacey laughed quietly as she took a seat on the opposite side of the desk from me.

  “Well,” she briefly paused. “Most people probably don’t even realize it’s there. When I first started working in this part of town, there was an elderly lady that answered phones beside me at the law firm I was at. She asked if I’d join her for lunch one day so I did. Let me tell you.” Stacey’s eyes twinkled as she spoke about the past. “This is going to sound as dumb as ever, but I had the best grilled cheese and tomato soup of my life on that lunch break.”

  I chuckled.

  “I told you it might sound dumb.” Stacey’s laughter mimicked my own.

  “It doesn’t, I promise.”

  The aroma of the soup wafted through the air stronger than when she’d brought it in and for once my stomach growled without a hint of nausea mixed in. Maybe I was on the mend from the hellacious hangover I’d bestowed upon myself.

  “Do you have any crackers?”

  Stacey’s eyes connected with mine and grew large.

  “You cannot put crackers in that soup,” she said with so much conviction, I felt as if I’d asked her to help me commit a crime.

  I held my hands up in surrender. “Okay, warden. I’ll keep the crackers out of it. But I would like to have some to help settle my stomach if you have any.”

  Stacey gave me a knowing look as if I was trying to pull something over on her.

  “Pinky swear?” I extended my pinky toward her.

  She wrapped hers around mine and gave it a little squeeze before letting go and rea
ching into one of the brown paper bags.

  “If I see you put even a crumb in that bowl…”

  “I pinky promised!”

  She pulled a couple individual packs of crackers from the bag and tossed one on the desk before me.

  “Thanks.” I smiled. “Now it’s time to try this soup you praise so much.”

  “Hell, it’s probably cold by now.” She laughed.

  I shook my head and scooped a spoon full out of the container and took it directly to my mouth.

  “Mmm…”

  A wide, victorious grin spread across Stacey’s face.

  “Yeah, yeah…” I teased. “It’s the best damn chicken noodle soup I’ve ever had.”

  We chuckled and a silence fell over us as we dug into our lunches.

  “That was a fucking disaster,” I groaned, digging my fingertips into my temples.

  “It wasn’t that bad.” Stacey trailed behind me with the file folder in tow.

  “There’s no need to try and make me feel better about things.” I shoved my office door open.

  “Maybe he just assumed you weren’t feeling well.”

  “Running like a bat out of hell out of the room to throw up will forever be etched into his mind when he thinks of Level PR.”

  “Maybe not.”

  “Stacey…” I groaned as I flopped down on the couch. “Please stop with the glass half full bullshit.”

  “Sorry. I’m just trying to get you to be optimistic about how it went. He asked if you were okay when you ran out, I told him you weren’t feeling the best. People get sick all the time.”

  I glanced up from my hand shielding my eyes. “But people don’t show up to a meeting with a major client hungover like I did. There’s a difference.”

  “He doesn’t know you were hungover.”

  I decide arguing the point wasn’t at the top of my to-do list so I let Stacey keep her glass half full crap. “If you say so.”

  “Drink you some water and rest. If you need to head home for the day, I can cancel the two phone meetings you have.”

  “Ugh…”

  “You forgot about them, didn’t you?”

  “You already know me so well.”

  “Go on home. I’ll reschedule them.”