Graceful Scars Page 3
As I felt the switch underneath my finger, I flipped it on and gasped at the person I found standing a few feet away from me, with a smile spread across his face that caused chills to race across my entire body. “Why are you in my locker room?” I managed to choke out steady enough to hide my fear, but he didn’t respond.
Taking a few steps closer to me; forcing me to back up against the wall. I stood frozen. I had seen this man numerous times lingering around the outside of the building, but I never thought anything about it. I had never found him within Graceful Moves before…and I was wondering how in the hell he had gotten in. The look in his eyes was nothing like the frightened look he usually wore; this time it was more along the lines of desire. Desire to take…kill…and/or torture, I wasn’t sure. I quickly slid around the corner of the wall and tried to run, but before I could get a good grasp on the door to pull it open I felt my legs be taken out from beneath me and my body slammed hard against the cold tile floor. A sharp pain radiated through my left ankle and up into my calf as I tried to kick the man that was beginning to pin me down. This isn’t happening. I willed myself to wake up, but I knew it wasn’t a dream. This man, pinning me to the floor was my reality and I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it out alive.
“Tegan!! Sweetheart, it’s me, Adalynn…” Her soothing voice pushed through the clouded memories as I rocked back and forth, hitting my back against the door each time. “Open the door, please.” I forced my eyes open and frantically took in my surroundings. I was sitting on the floor, curled up against my knees with the lights off in my office. I slid forward just enough to turn around and turn the lock on the doorknob, allowing Adalynn to finally open the door.
“Oh my God!” She cried out, sinking to the floor in front of me, pulling me into a hug that caused all oxygen to escape me.
“Can’t. Breathe.” I managed to choke out, as she released me from the hug but kept her hands attached to my shoulders to inspect me.
“What the hell happened, and why are you still here?!”
“How did you know I was here?” I ignored her questions and asked my own.
“You kicked the silent alarm when you opened the door to the back lot. The alarm company called me and when I pulled up the security cameras on my phone I saw you sitting in here, enclosed on yourself up against the door. I came as fast as I could, but do you realize you’ve been in here for forty-five minutes while I tried to get your attention?” The look in her eyes wasn’t one of pity, but pure sadness. I didn’t want anyone to feel sad when it came to me, especially Adalynn.
“Please don’t look at me like that.” I pulled away from her hands and turned to look out the large glass windows that showed the entire studio, but what I wasn’t expecting to see was Talon staring back at me with his hands shoved into his jeans front pockets.
“What is he doing here?” I got up from the floor and wiped away the remainder of tears that moistened my face.
“I asked him to come.” Adalynn stood up as well, crossing her arms over her chest. “Teg, I was scared to death when I saw you on the security video. I called the first person I knew would come with me, and that you wouldn’t be too upset about. Don’t give me shit for caring—or Talon.”
I wanted to be pissed, I really did, but I couldn’t. Adalynn would cross hell and high water for me; the least I could do is not be a complete and utter bitch when she came to my rescue yet again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so bitchy.” I looked down at the floor as I walked over to the doorway and flipped the light switch on.
“Don’t worry about it.” Adalynn sat down in the chair directly inside the door. “Why are you here so late anyway?” She waved at Talon through the glass to come on in. His hesitation shouldn’t have been so cute, but it was. He looked from Adalynn back at me, never letting his eyes leave mine as he made his way to the door. The split second the doorway blocked me from his view I took a deep breath and quickly let it out so he wouldn’t know just how much he was affecting me. My heart was beating crazily and my palms were starting to sweat. Adalynn was rambling on about what had happened but I couldn’t hear a thing she was saying as Talon walked into the room and rested his shoulder against the doorway, directly in my line of vision.
“Are you listening to me, Tegan?”
I shook my head and looked away from Talon. “Yeah…”
Adalynn let out an annoyed huff, “No you weren’t. Is there something I need to be worried about?” She leaned forward and braced her arms on her legs, linking her hands together.
“No!” I practically yelled, startling all of us. “I’m fine. Really, I am. I’m sorry you had to come out tonight. I was simply working on a dance routine and I allowed myself to get in my head. You know how I get when that happens.” I wasn’t sure she heard that last part because of how quietly I tried to say it. But the way Talon’s eyes were watching me, I knew he had heard me loud and clear. Usually I would feel insecure, odd even, having someone who I hardly knew hear about the demons I had in my own head. But Talon was different. He was like a calm in the storm and I didn’t mind him being here at all.
“Tegan…” Adalynn warned. She always knew when I wasn’t being fully honest with her, but this time I wasn’t backing down. How could I prove to everyone that I was trying to push past my demons if I kept allowing them to see just how badly I was struggling? Weakness wasn’t something I wanted to put on display for everyone for the rest of my life. So starting the day I had stepped foot back into this place, I had decided that I would work through my shit on my own. I was strong once before, and I’d be damned if I wouldn’t try to get back to the person I once was.
“Adalynn…” I mocked her questioning tone and sat back in the chair behind my desk. She huffed in annoyance. “I’m serious, don’t worry about me. It was nothing, just some stupid moment I had and now I’m over it.” I forced a smile that mimicked a genuine one so she would hopefully take it and move on. Thankfully she did just that.
“Okay.” She held her hands up in surrender. “I’ll let it go…this time. But don’t expect me to keep my distance if shit like this keeps happening. Don’t close me out, Teg. I’m here and I always will be.” She stood from the chair and I shook my head in acknowledgement of her statement.
“Are you hanging around here or heading home?” Adalynn asked.
“Probably going to hang around here for a bit longer before heading out. I need to clean up a few things.” I diverted my eyes from her to Talon, and of course, he was still intently watching me from his perched position against the doorframe.
“Okay. Leave the light on out front and out back. It helps the security cams.” She walked forward and hugged me tightly to her chest. Adalynn cared more about my wellbeing than I did, and I loved her deeply for it. Even if I felt smothered at times.
“Talon, are you riding back with me?” She asked as she let go of me and turned towards him. I was beginning to wonder if something was going on between those two, because they seemed overly close. Not touchy close, but together a lot. Maybe it was just me creating something that wasn’t actually there, and surprisingly I was hoping that something wasn’t actually there.
Talon’s eyes never left me as he answered her questions, “No, I think I’ll hang around with Tegan ‘til she leaves—that is if she’ll have me.” The smile that spread widely across his beautiful face almost caused me to fall out of my chair. My heart rate picked up even more than before and the perspiration building on my hands was completely disgusting, but I couldn’t help it.
I wiped my hands down my leggings where no one could witness the grossness of the matter and smiled back. “Yeah. I mean, that’s fine with me,” I stuttered like a fool.
“Okay then.” Adalynn clapped her hands together and readjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder. “I will see you bright and early.” She pointed at me and I nodded my head in agreement. “Thanks for coming with me, Talon. I appreciate it.” She placed one of her hands on his arm and smiled at him before leaving us
alone in my office.
He stood there silently and I didn’t move from the chair behind my desk. We were stuck staring at one another as silence hung thickly in the air around us. I didn’t know what to say, obviously he didn’t either. As the awkwardness began to set in Talon cleared his throat and pushed off the doorframe. I watched as he walked towards me and took a seat on the edge of my desk, facing me.
“Want to talk about what happened?” The sincerity in his eyes was calming. No one had ever asked me that without my insides feeling like they were going to burst from the nerves of having to talk about it. But with Talon, things were different…and honestly I wasn’t sure if it was a different kind of good or a different kind of bad.
I bit down on my bottom lip and contemplated how to handle his question. Did I just straight up lay it out there for him? Hell, I hadn’t known the guy very long. Close to a month maybe. I’d never been that forward with someone, especially a guy. Come to think about it, my experience with guys period was lacking. The incident put a large wall up that separated me from all men. There for a while it became so bad that if a male simply touched my arm, or any part of my body for that matter, I would close in on myself. Talk about looking like a freak in public. I couldn’t even count how many times I had flipped out and curled up in a ball in the middle of a store, at the grocery, or even at a local event. I learned to stay home until I worked through that. It had gotten better, but I was sure there would still be those instances over time. Nothing goes away easily.
“Not really.” The words left my mouth before I could think any more about the situation.
“Okay.” He continued to watch me. “If you ever want someone to lean on, besides Adalynn of course, here’s my number. Don’t hesitate to call.” He picked my hand up from my lap and turned it over. Searching my desk with his eyes, he found a black ink pen and scribbled his number onto my palm. The movement of the pen caused a giggle to slip from my lips. “Something funny?” He raised an eyebrow at me as he finished writing his number.
“It tickled,” I admitted as I looked up through my lashes into his almost onyx-colored eyes. They captivated me, pulled me closer to him before I realized what was happening. When his eyes dropped to my lips I took in a sharp breath and shook my head. “Sorry,” I said embarrassedly as I hastily got up from my desk.
What the hell was wrong with me?! I was leaning into Talon like I was about to kiss him, or begging him to kiss me! My face was burning up from the embarrassment that I was sure was obviously evident in a shade of bright red. My pale skin never allowed me to hide the signs of when I got embarrassed. Right then I wished I could hide it.
I kept my back to Talon as I started fumbling with a stack of papers that were sitting on one of the three filing cabinets that lined the wall behind my desk. They held all the paperwork surrounding Graceful Moves. I started filing the stack of papers, completely ignoring that he was still in my office.
“Want some help?” I felt the heat of his body as he stepped up beside me. A shiver ran down my spine. Not one from the cold, but one of the good kinds. I let out a long, slow breath and quickly composed myself as best as possible.
“Sure,” I smiled at him, handed him half of the stack, and turned back to my open drawer.
“Ummm…What kind of order are these in?”
“Sorry! They go by last names. The letters are designated on the front of the drawers. Those go in the far cabinet.” I pointed to the one farthest away from where I was standing. No, that wasn’t a coincidence. I intentionally gave him the stack that would put him the farthest away from me as possible. The last thing I needed was to grow some kind of fucking crush on a guy that didn’t need my kind of crazy in his life. Hell, I couldn’t even fully handle myself, so how could someone else?
We fell into silence again as we both put away the stacks of papers in our hands. I wasn’t sure if he was feeling the awkward connection that I was feeling between us, but I couldn’t help the goofy grin that spread across my face when I thought about it. I needed to get the hell out of my office before something I wasn’t ready for transpired.
“I’m going to put the mats back in the closet.” I sat the remainder of the papers back where I had initially picked them up from and left the office without waiting for his response. I knew he could see my every move, except when I walked into the closet, so I kept my eyes from looking at those Godforsaken glass windows I had thrown a fit to have put in when the place was built. Dragging the set of mats over to the closet, I dropped them on the floor beside the door so that I could open it. After positioning the door to stay open, I picked the mats back up and drug them the rest of the way inside. It was a pretty spacious closet so I had plenty of room to drag them to the back and take a breather without feeling claustrophobic. The boxes stacked against the far wall made a perfect little spot for me to gather my thoughts so I walked over and rested my back against them. My heart felt like a wild horse galloping through an open pasture, not because of exertion from moving the mats, but from the interaction with Talon. He evoked feelings within me that I hadn’t felt in a really long time…if ever. Was it normal to want a relationship with someone not long after something so terrible happened to you? Would he even want me if he found out that I was tainted goods?
My loud exhaling of breath echoed in the closet. I knew I couldn’t stay in there long without him looking for me so I forced myself to finish loading the mats in and headed back towards my office.
Looking through the glass windows I noticed that Talon was done filing, he had made himself at home on the small couch that rested against the left side of the office. He hadn’t noticed me watching him fiddle with his cell phone; the creases where his eyebrows were furrowed were adorable.
“Done already?” I tried to sound as at ease as possible.
“I was beginning to wonder if you had left me here.” He flashed his pearly whites at me. I thought my heart had stopped as he got up from the couch and walked over to where I was standing in the doorway. My heart was thumping so loudly, if he couldn’t hear it I would be surprised.
“No. Decided to arrange some things in the closet is all.” I looked away from his intense dark eyes so he wouldn’t look right through my lie. I couldn’t just straight up tell him that his presence was driving me insane and I didn’t know if I could handle being alone with him. I was officially losing my damn mind.
Talon raised his hand slowly, and ran it across my cheek. The smirk he was wearing had me wanting to smash my lips against his, but the feeling of his hand leaving my face left a lonesome ache in its wake. I knew I was staring at him in the most dumbfounded way but I wasn’t sure why he had touched my face like that. So intimately.
“You had dust on your face,” his smirk grew wider as he explained. I officially felt like an idiot.
“Oh.” My voice came out all breathy as I stepped away, shaking my head to gain composure of myself.
What the hell was wrong with me?! Talon was off limits. Not because he was actually off limits, but because I couldn’t have any form of a relationship with a man—at least not in the intimate way. I wouldn’t want to put him through all the crazy scars of my life. I needed to work through my own shit before I even attempted to drag someone else into it. I needed to put distance between the two of us, even if what felt like was going on between us was only in my head.
I walked past Talon and started collecting my things. “I’m done here, ready to head out?” I asked without looking up at him. I knew he had closed the distance between where I had left him and where I was now making sure I had everything I needed at my desk.
“Tegan,” Talon saying my name instead of responding threw me off. Bringing my head up, almost instantly I found him leaning across the desk, inches from my face, smiling widely. But before I could say a word he leaned forward just enough to press his lips against mine. The feeling that came next was nothing I had ever felt before. Soothing, calming even, and it scared the ever-loving shit out of me.
“We need to go,” I whispered through another deep breath.
“Okay,” was all he said before I felt him leave the room and listened to the sound of his footsteps echo across the bamboo floors of the studio.
Chapter Three
Three days had passed since Talon had kissed me in my office, and if I thought the ride home alone was torturous that night, I underestimated how the days afterwards would be. Three days seemed like an eternity. Especially when you had no idea what would happen the next time you were in front of the guy you pretty much blew off. Yes, I had freaked out when Talon kissed me…but not because of him making me flash back to that night, but because he made me feel something different, something more than I had felt in a very long time.
Adalynn had called me the day before asking if everything was okay. I had been dodging her since that same night but for all kinds of reasons. I had flipped out about those noises, which pushed me into a full blown episode, and forced Adalynn and Talon to come save me from myself. Strangely I was embarrassed about her seeing me like that, but not him.
Adalynn had invited me over to hang out, and I was just sitting in her backyard completely spacing out and not listening to what she was saying. Good friend, huh?!
“Teg?” Adalynn nudged my shoulder to get my attention as I continued to stare out into the field behind her house.
“Sorry,” I muttered, finally looking over at her instead of the small red bird in the birdbath a few hundred yards away from where we were swinging.